2016/01/22

5 Quick Tips On How To Tell Someone They Are Not Invited To Your Wedding

By now you have successfully announced your engagement thanks to all of our helpful tips from our Quick Etiquette Guide For Announcing Your Engagement. You want all of your friends and family to be included in this special announcement and have shared endless photos of you and your fiancĂ© online. Many of your friends and family may have taken your online announcement as an open invitation to your wedding. Now that you have announced your wedding you are getting inundated with questions from everyone that saw your announcement. Your co-workers, high school friends who you haven't spoken to in years, and relatives you only see occasionally are asking when is the wedding and when should they start making arrangements to come. Now you and your fiance have sat down and talked it over maybe you can't invite so many people and simply do not have enough room for on your guest list. The rule of thumb is if you would regret not having a certain person or family member at your wedding then they should be invited. Instead of avoiding potentially awkward conversations with those who are about to become aware that they did not make it onto your guest list keep on reading below. Val Stefani can help make that conversation as easy and stress free as possible with five quick tips. 

1. Tell them directly. 
If someone has reached out to you via social media, text or email asking about more details on your special day, but you were not planning on sending them an invitation, resist the temptation to quickly respond. Instead, schedule a time to meet with the person or pick up the phone and give them a formal call. Although you will be delivering news that they were not expecting, they will at least appreciate the time you took to take their feelings into consideration by taking the time to explain to them why they will unfortunately not be receiving an invitation to your wedding. Be polite and direct. You don't want them to be hearing from another source that they are not invited or hearing other mutual friends or family are invited and they aren't receiving any invitations or updates. People want to feel included and why not? It is a happy occasion so try your best to be polite in your response and treat them the way you would want to be treated, respectfully. 

2. Your desire to keep it intimate. 
One simple way to explain to someone that they did not make it onto the guest list would be to tell them that your wish is to keep your wedding intimate with only your closest friends and family. Your uninvited guests should respect this decision as this is your special day. If your parents are having difficulty accepting this decision you can simply explain to them that you do not have the same close relationships as they do with certain family members and wish to invite only those whom you have close knit relationships with. There is no rule saying you have to invite your co-workers or a friend you have lost contact with, but they might not fell the same way. So by saying you are keeping it intimate and not a lot of people are invited a reasonable person will understand.

3. Inform them of the venue capacity. 
If you fell in love with a certain venue, but can unfortunately only accommodate a select number of guests, simply explain that you would love to have all of your friends and family with you on this special day, but you honestly do not have the room. 

4. Express to them your tight budget. 
Weddings can become quite expensive and if you wish to keep your guest list to a limited amount to stay within your budget your uninvited guests should respect this decision. If you are paying for the wedding yourself then explain that as well. You shouldn't have to go beyond your means to satisfy everyone else if it is going to make your pocket book suffer in the future. 

5. Articulate your guest list being a work in progress. 
If you do not expect to invite certain friends and family you can simply state to them your status of the guest list and that although you are working to finalize the guest list you are looking to invite only close friends and family. If you have a certain friend or family member whom you are avoiding rejecting, this can be a helpful transition into telling them in the future they will unfortunately not be receiving an invitation to your wedding. 

As you continue your wedding planning be sure to wait for anyone who is unsure if they are invited to your wedding to approach you before you explain to them why they will not be receiving an invitation. This is an exciting time for you and your fiancĂ©, but do not let this dreaded conversation bring you down during this thrilling time, but you need to be mindful of the way you approach your uninvited guests. They just want to be a part of your special day and help you to celebrate and what is wrong with that? So, be respectful of their feelings and after following our five quick tips you are sure to keep your relationships strong with those who did not make it onto your guest list. Are you by an chance still searching for that perfect wedding gown? Take a look at our Val Stefani and Moonlight exquisite wedding gowns. We wish you the best of luck in your conversations and know everything will turn out superb. 

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